Just too much to bear

Life, I never know what it wants from me.  People say that we face different challenges for us to learn and become strong and become who we are.  But can we not learn without pain?  I have been in this world for too long and all that there is is pain.  Too much pain that I really don’t know how to go on.  Too many heartaches and never had a happy ending.  I thought I finally found mine, it turned out it wasn’t.  I, I am truly unhappy right now.  I couldn’t even bear counting the hours for another day to come.  I feel like I just want life to pass me by.  But as I continue to let time pass by, the longer it seemed for it to do so.  And each passing moment, I couldn’t help but think of the one person who made me smile for no reason at all.  The one person that I always look forward to in the end of the day and the person that I look forward to in every start of it.  Yes, it is true that God gives and takes away, but I just couldn’t see why of all things this has to be taken away.

***September 1, 2015. FYI, this wasn’t the article I wrote about my first heart break. I felt really hurt when I wrote this article in 2012 but the real heartache happened a few months later when it felt like the world stopped turning. But, hell, here I am, after 2 years and then some, I am alive and kicking. No love of my life yet but I definitely had a grand time.