My new favorite song from Ed Sheeran.
Matthew verse 6 chapter 25-34 talks about why we should stop worrying. True enough, like most folks I worry about a lot of things. I will be turning a year older, a few days from now thus I am worried that I may not marry. I mean who would want an old hag for a wife? Then I worry about not being able to support my family thus I am stuck with my job no matter how much I wanted to start chasing my dream. There are just so many things in mind and with the world having so much possibilities that you just can’t help but worry about how things will turn up.
Hearing people say stop worrying do help at times but then there are days that I would ask myself, does the mind really attract what it perceives or was it just a coincidence? I did achieve a lot of things that I had wanted but was that because of my mind attracting them into my life or were they the outcome of my efforts to achieve them?
People who loves to think are usually frowning when they are on thinking mode. I, for one, is one of those people. But, unlike other people, I can find pleasure from the simplest of things. Sitting while watching the world go by is one of the few things that I find pleasure in. You may not see me smiling on the outside but deep down, a part of me is.
Good food, smell of coffee brewing in the morning, great conversations, hugs from friends and happy memories are some of the things that can bring a smile to my face. Smiles from other people, strangers and friends alike and his smile, can definitely make me smile no matter what mood am into. 🙂
Went out yesterday with some friends to watch Nicholas Cage’s Left Behind. Though the movie had a plane crash to make it thrilling for the movie goers, it’s true climax was when people disappeared all at the same time.
After the movie, it made me think. If this will truly happen, I asked myself if I would want to be one of those taken, or one of those who were left behind? Truly, those who will be left on earth will face a lot of hardships and those who were taken are the one who will be saved from all the terrible things that are bound to happen. But then again, do I want to be saved knowing that my loved ones were left on earth?
When I posted a comment on Facebook that I think I’ll be one of those who will be left on earth, friends said that it’s not too late to change that but then, do I really want to be saved? Do I have to force myself to have faith when things weren’t going the way as I want it to be? Will the Lord accept me knowing that I have doubted him a lot of times in this lifetime?
If I will be asked what is the saddest moment of my life the answer would be that moment when I am forced to eat something that I don’t like because it was the only thing that I can afford.
So what’s yours?
Although I question his existence for so many times, I always find peace in him when I feel lost.
Although my questions were always answered by silence, he always seem to assure me that things will be alright.
And during the times that I feel hopeless he seems to send help when I need it the most.
This my God. The God of a doubter.
There are days that you feel alone despite of being surrounded with people. There are times that you want to talk about things in your mind but you just can’t seem to find anyone to talk to. Was it the fear of rejection or is it the fear of being judged that is stopping me from talking to people? I don’t know.
And then tears start falling because of that loneliness that you feel in that moment. At times you go and ask God why but then all you get is silence which makes you feel lonely even more. This silence during the time of loneliness usually leads to the question, is there really a god who listens?